Jñānāgni : The Fire of Wisdom

We may feel jealous of a successful person, but we are never jealous of the success of our own children, even though they are someone other than us. When we see ourselves in the other person, love comes naturally. And where there is love, there is no room for violence, hatred, enmity, or jealousy. Love is a substitute for everything, but there is no substitute for love. And when that love becomes divine, there is no further need to say anything!

— Swami Tejomayananda

Why is somebody glad when their own child is successful but jealous when somebody else experiences success? Isn’t it the feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘other’ that makes the difference? I am happy if ‘my’ child succeeds but jealous when some ‘other’ person is successful. If a child that is born out of you is your own, then we are all children of the same God and belong to one God. We are all born out of the same source, live in the same space, and in the end go back to the same source. Ultimately, we all dissolve into each other. Then where is the question of ‘mine’ and ‘not mine’?

Swami Vivekananda says,

If a beautiful picture belonging to another is burnt, a man does not generally become miserable; but when his own picture is burnt, how miserable he feels! Why? Both were beautiful pictures, perhaps copies of the same original; but in one case very much more misery is felt than in the other. It is because in one case he identifies himself with the picture, and not in the other. This ‘I and mine’ causes the whole misery.

— The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, vol. 1, p.101.

‘I’ and ‘mine’ and ‘other’ is the cause of all misery. Drop the feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘other’ and simply enjoy success, appreciate beauty wherever you find it, and you will become the embodiment of success and beauty! ‘I’ and ‘mine’ and ‘other’ is mere illusion. When you drop ‘I and mine’, the whole world becomes yours. Then what remains is the feeling of oneness, pure Love. And when there is Love, where is the room for violence, hatred, enmity, and jealousy?

See also, How to overcome jealousy, hatred, rivalry and ego consciousness?

The foolish blame love, without understanding the cause of pain; without knowing its conflict there is no transcending anguish. Without becoming aware of the source of conflict, craving, love brings pain. It is craving, not love, that creates dependence and all the sorrowful issues that arise out of it. it is craving in relationship that gives rise to uncertainty, not love; and this uncertainty breeds possessiveness, jealousy, fear. In this possessiveness, in this dependence, there is a false sense of unity which sustains and nourishes the temporary feeling of well being; but it is not love, for in it there is inward fear and suspicion. This outward stimulation of seeming oneness is parasitical, the living of the one on the other; it is not love for inwardly there is emptiness, loneliness and the need for dependence. Dependence breeds fear, not love. Without understanding craving is there not domination, oppression, taking the form of love? In relationship with the one or with the many, such love of power and dominance, with its submissiveness and acceptance, brings conflict, antagonism and sorrow. Having the seed of violence within oneself how can there be love? Having the seed of contradiction and uncertainty within oneself how can there be love? Love is beyond and above all these; it transcends sensuousness. Love is in itself eternal not dependent, not a result. In it there is mercy and generosity, forgiveness and compassion. With love, humility and gentleness come into being; without love they have no existence.

~ J. Krishnamurti, Ojai public talk, 18 June 1944

“Love is your nature. In the process of its expression, you often become ensnared in the object. This is when your sight is caught outside. To return to your nature, you need insight.

Pain is the first insight. It takes you away from the object and turns you towards your body and mind.

Energy is the second insight. A bolt of energy brings you back to your Self.

Divine love is the third insight. A glimpse of Divine love makes you complete and overrules all relative pleasures.

Trance is the fourth insight. An elevation of consciousness and partial awareness of physical reality around you is trance. This brings you back to your nature.

Realization of non-dual existence — that everything is made up of one and only one — is fifth insight.”

~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Celebrating Silence.